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Seven Years

of trying, trying, trying to get over Ianto dying. Slowly weeding out any fan fiction with canon-compliant story lines, Jack mourning, Jack remembering in the future. Can't go there. Can only read happy endings. I've not been this devastated when actual real-life people I've known have died. What is wrong with me? Fortunately, there is a lot, I mean a lot, of positive outcome, happy Jack and Ianto, alien-fighting while having a good life together fan fic. Thank you, authors. I remember playing 'Dead Summer' by Unblest over and over and over til I had to force myself to stop listening. Never been so immersed in misery and sadness. Much better now, thank goodness, but still reading Janto fan fic every single day. I don't even worry if I'm crazy anymore. I am just so grateful to fan fic authors.


( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Jul. 10th, 2016 10:00 am (UTC)
I'll never really get over Ianto's death, so instead I've decided to remain in denial permanently - except when I want to write something where Ianto comes back from death, that is ;)

Jul. 10th, 2016 05:49 pm (UTC)
I do like Ianto coming back stories. Does it not bother you to be so affected by a fictional character? Sometimes I wonder if I'm normal, sometimes I think it just reflects so much of my actual life that I've transferred my feelings to the fictional story, because not being real makes it less difficult or something? I identify very strongly with Ianto. I'm still trying to figure it out, when I think about it, which I try not to do. :) Maybe I'm just totally addicted to Janto. LOL
Jul. 10th, 2016 10:10 pm (UTC)
I've been affected by fictional character deaths before, when I identify strongly with a character it's like part of me has been killed and I can't help the way I feel. Grief is natural when you lose someone you care about, and I don't think it matters whether that someone is a real person, a pet, or a fictional character. Grief is grief. We all deal with it in our own ways. I can't deny my mother's death, she's gone, but I can and will deny the death of someone who I CAN bring back. I can't bear the thought of Jack spending eternity alone.
Jul. 10th, 2016 11:11 pm (UTC)
I'm with you on all of this. Bringing people back in the fictional world is a good thing, well, unless Gwen died and someone wanted to bring her back. I would not read that.
Jul. 11th, 2016 11:01 am (UTC)
But if Gwen was killed and brought back, she could be killed again, and again, and again, in awful ways until it stuck... Um, maybe I'm a little antagonistic towards Gwen *grins*
Jul. 11th, 2016 01:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, I did not think of that. You are brilliant. I think I'm more disturbed about how much I hate Gwen, than anything else. Cause I really, really hate her. :) I keep reminding myself she's not actually a real person, but it doesn't seem to help at all. LOL
Jul. 11th, 2016 01:36 pm (UTC)
She has all the character traits I despise and none of the ones I admire. If there was a prise for creating the most dislikeable non-villain ever, RTD would've won hands down. He would also, of course, be completely baffled because, in the quaint British idiom, he thinks the sun shines out of her arse!
Jul. 11th, 2016 03:40 pm (UTC)
I don't know why people think he's so great, anyway. He doesn't seem like a very good show-runner, or writer, or person, for that matter, just going by things I've read about him. I read it wasn't even him that created Ianto, but I don't really know anything about that. I love that icon, btw. I have it saved in my TW folder. I have over 1200 pictures saved in there, not to mention vids, radio plays and whatnot.. Obsessive, you think? LOL
Jul. 11th, 2016 06:22 pm (UTC)
No more so than me. I have thousands of icons and other pictures saved, I've got all the audio dramas and most of the novels despite how crap a lot of them are, almost all the magazines, the DVDs, and every fic I can get my hands on except for the Gwen-centric ones.

RTD is a poor writer because he can't adapt his idea to take audience reactions into account. He thinks that he has to stick slavishly to his original idea and that his vision is perfect. No one else's opinion has any validity for him.

Do you have your own Hysterical Woman number?
Jul. 11th, 2016 10:00 pm (UTC)
I don't think I have a number. I must have missed that bit. I agree about the books. They were pretty lame, over all. Sometimes I think the author had never even seen the show. I've read much better fan fiction. You completely out-do me in the obsessiveness. I have the books on Kindle, one Torchwood book that I forget what it's called, but it's not a dictionary. I'm very tired today, and my brain does NOT work well when I'm tired. Sometimes I'm lucky I get the first letter of the word I want correct. Like disposal instead of dishwasher, hey, I got the first letter right. LOL I think the only audio drama I have, beside Broken, is The Sin Eaters, that I downloaded in parts off of some site somewhere a long time ago. Oh, and I heard, but not sure I saved, the last Big Finish that was just Ianto in the plane.
Jul. 11th, 2016 10:39 pm (UTC)
I haven't listened to the Big Finish audiodramas, I need to find time.

I'm bad with words sometimes, calling the wardrobe a greenhouse and stuff like that. I don't even get the first letter right. I'm tired right now, busy day, trying to get some things sorted out around the house so I can get more stuff out of storage. More to do tomorrow, but I'm off to bed now.
Jul. 12th, 2016 04:15 pm (UTC)
Storage. We have so much stuff we have to store some of it. I'm lucky, the only time I've had to use storage was when I was homeless and staying with friends. I try to get rid of stuff as I go along. Give it away if at all possible. My homemakers are good for that. If they don't want it, they probably know someone who can use it. When I first moved after my husband left, OMG is all I can say. We had a full basement, and it was full. The trash man was happy. He would go through my trash every week and pick out stuff. Made him late for everyone after me, but I was just happy the stuff was going to get used. I hate just tossing good stuff, but sometimes I just don't know what else to do with it. I'm very wordy today, Sorry about that. It's one of those everything is going on at once, and I haven't even gotten to eat my breakfast yogurt yet, and it's after noon. Hyper R US.
Jul. 12th, 2016 07:14 pm (UTC)
I'm like that at the moment, trying to sort things so my shelf unit can go back against the wall. I do a pile of sorting after I get up, and don't get my breakfast fruit and yogurt until at least 11am. Still so much to do. My stuff went into storage when pipes burst back in 2010. Now I want to get then back because the unit leaks and costs a lot every month.

Anything I don't want goes to the local charity shops, so at least someone can get use from it.

Jul. 12th, 2016 08:38 pm (UTC)
There's a lobby downstairs, and sometimes people (me,too) put stuff down there for anyone who wants it. Handy.

I'm getting a new frig tomorrow. My freezer has not worked properly for well over a year, keeping first a steady 10 and now a steady 20 degrees, when it should be zero. After numerous asks, owner finally told maintenance to order me a new one. Happy, happy, happy, I think that's minus 12, minus 6, and minus 18, I think. That's what the converter I used says, anyway. Doesn't look very logical, though. LOL
Jul. 12th, 2016 09:44 pm (UTC)
I always have trouble figuring out temperatures, but I understand it wasn't as cold as it should've been so yay for getting it replaced! Everything will stay properly cold again once the new one is in place. Hope the delivery goes smoothly!
Jul. 12th, 2016 10:14 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'm hoping it goes well, and they don't show up at 7am or something. Mornings R NOT Us.
Jul. 12th, 2016 10:33 pm (UTC)
I had a delivery coming and was told between 7am ans 7pm, so I got up before and the delivery arrived after 6.30pm. So unfair!

May yours arrive late enough that you're awake and ready, but early enough that you're not waiting all day.
Jul. 12th, 2016 11:24 pm (UTC)
Thanks. That is so annoying, waiting all day, isn't it?
Jul. 13th, 2016 10:53 am (UTC)
Especially if you've had to get up early and miss out on sleep >.
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )